sense of belonging

i didn't want to whine so much. but i did. hahahha

so today i just feel down. i don't know exactly why. so today actually is the pharmrun day. my first time participating in a run, and my first time socializing with other pharmacy worker in melaka. and how it goes? its good! i run for 2 and half km and walk for the rest of the 'run' hahaha. ainul went ahead left me behind. but i feel just relax, power walking through palm trees. hiks. haven't been in nature for a long time.

so far so good. but then back at home, i read a post about an HO quitting because of toxic environment in her workplace. it is indeed toxic, thus it bring my mood down as well. and I suddenly thought that i'm alone in this battlefield. Ainul, Anis and Farhana has their own friends here in Melaka. but i have no one i expected to meet during the run. or maybe i expect to find jodoh there. duhh hahaha but ofc nope there wasnt jodoh there.

and to make the wound more painful, these hospital's prp in prp seoul discussed about how to send info into skt hrmis. and i like, what's that gurllll? It's like adding salt to this fresh wound i create myself. huhuhu. i feel like i didn't feel any sense of belonging here in my work area. but then my friends in other places at least has each other. physically. i really wanted to be close to my notts friends. why am I so far away from everybody :( im not stghong!!!

Okay Ain, it just 2 months since your started working. youll be fine. like you did in Allday. You'll make some close friends. just be nice to everyone, and theyll be nice to you. love you ain. be strong. dont let these little things bother you. you're significant in this world.