Adulthood

Hi the more adult ain! You okay now? Are you struggle with the unfairness of workloads again? No? Guess youre okay now then. Whether you're fine with the load or life is just getting fairer now. So let's start with how i get a job. Hiks. Alhamdulillah 17.7.18, I've choosen a place very near to my house as my workplace for 2+ years! Its been complicated between KK Ayer Keroh and Hospital Tampin. But home it is! Then early august I've reported duty there and it's been two months now working there. Just to say for these two months i indeed learnt a lot and work a lot 😅 maybe beacuse i'm new or i'm the youngest, they really do make me do alot of work. Still bearable. Thanks to frps that helped me alot. 

However, if i'm comparing myaelf to my friends whom in hospital right now, i would be nothing. Of course. And yes, because i'm comparing, i'm a little bit depressed and anxious of everything. Like gosh they know alot now, like gosh they have a tons lot of patients compare to KK but i complained a lot. So i rather be quiet. Only talked when people talked. I've became the ain when she was in mock pharmacy in her final year. She did nothing but silence. Did her work in silence, not to disturb others, not bothering them. No. But maybe better than before because she's much more confident now. 

 

Here. The words of comfort i meant for someone else, comfort me a lot more. Allah gave these for me, through me, initiate by a friend. Alhamdulillah eventhough in these unhealthy environment i work with, im blessed with frps who are willing to help me, to back me up when im wronged, to show me the correct way to do things, to not laugh at me when im making mistakes, to have a lunch with me everytime, everyday and talked about how we gonna improved these unhealthy work environment we're in. Thank you Allah for these people. Thank you Allah for placing me in Ayer Keroh so i can see my parents everyday, my grandparents every week, my cats my precious every single dag. Alhamdulillah. 

ramadhan

ramadhan mubarak everyone!!

so today is the second ramadhan of the year and i spent the day with workig in the pharmacy and break fasting once in pharmacy and once at home. fair enough. both experiences are the best! hiks. so today is my first terawikh for the month at the surau. speaking of which, this reminds me of last ramadhan we spent in nottingham. i loved our ramadhan back then. we break fasting together as housemates and prayed terawikh and tadarrus together afterwards. Usually we break fast at 9pm so all the sessions will be ended at midnight. so the tadarrus was reallyyyyy a sleepy tadarrus. hahha. we did all this in amini's room because hers are the largest among all. i miss. huhu. i miss them. i miss the coldness where we need to share amini's duvet while tadarrus. i miss the vibe.

weirdly if i need to recall when we're break fasting, the last two years' ramadhan where fa, bee and myself breakfasting at their house. maybe that was the first ramadhan i spent in overseas, fa away from family. everyone were back in Malaysia back then, left us three pretending to be strong enough (actually kedekut tak nak spend duit untuk tiket flight duhh) to spend the whole ramadhan and celebrating eid fitri there. But unfortunately, after coming back from turkey, bee's attempt to went back to Malaysia made all of us went back to Malaysia for eid. So we spent our Ramadhan together. At first, it was sooooooo boring. We didn't do anything. So i go back and forth to 41 lace st and 13 claude st. I ironed all my clothes, cleaned up 41 lace st, make some scrap book, watch pretty liars and many more but still there will be some time before break fast. Being so bored we started cooking at 5 pm like we usually did in Malaysia, but still have 4 hours before maghrib huhuhuhuhuhuhuhu. so we cooked slowly and enjoyed trying amking dishes and kuih muih. So that's what memorable to me. I loved it. I miss us three. I miss shakirin as well. I miss dayang nurjeboniss. hiks.

hope this ramadhan is filled with blessings and love form Allah. My our deeds will be accepted and may only goods will come to us now and onwards. again, salam ramadhan everyone!

video on how creative we were

husnozon!

just to clarify this is to remind myself for not being the bad one.

so ive been working as sales assistant in allday pharmacy for half a year already. what an accomplishment! everything is great except the habit of the girl who always badmouthing this one guy. not that im on that guy side, i dont really like his personality as well but i think you guys are filled so much hate towards him already huhu. so now each and everything he did, these girls will find faults in him.

ingat ain. people in this world is reallly reallyyy filled with different personalities. you need to be more understanding and be more flexible. at the same time you need to be more contained with your stand. try imagined yourself in their shoes. you might find the reason why they behave in that way. think before you act. watch your mouth watch your actions. be husnozon (sangka baik). and the most important is sabr. 

challenge will come to you when you most needed it. be it about coworkers, workload, family, money or anything. Allah set these challenges perfectly bearable for you to handle. just go with the flow. fight with strong faith that Allah will guide you through. these will make you stronger and be a better person in the future ain. They will. Allah will. You will. InsyaAllah. 

'and for your Lord, be patience' (74:7)

post from 20 jan 2018

Its been awhile isn't? So short story so that I would know this in the future. No i dont think it will be short.

So at first there's this one guy came with kaki dengkot dengkot. So kak has asked me to bandaged his ankle. So since then, this guy will keep tegur me everytime he pass by pharmacy. And the daysss afterwards atul keep on saying my jodoh lalu my jodoh lalu. And i thought its was him. The guy i bandaged last time. But hell yeah he was married and have pretty kids! So i tell atul about that! Gila ke apa kan?! So atul corrected me. The one she said was the other guy who work at the same shop as the married guy! And that guy named nasir! I was lulzzeddd ada jugak nama tu diselit selit huhuhuhu. Since then mmg asyik ternampak and terserempak and terperasan yg dia mmg selalu menjengah pharmacy! And here we go everyone in the pharmacy know! Except several people but most of them know and then one day kak has told me in front of everybody that 'my tulang rusuk' came to pharmacy when i was in holiday. Farid was there too! And he was one of the several who haven't know about that yet. Knowing his stubbornness he insisted on knowing who is that guy. He guessed almost every guy in the mydin. And he hot it right at the end of the day. Shocking news, the next day while farid was away from pharmacy kak has told kak ina kak tasha about yesterday story. The shocking news was kak has told me that farid also ada hati at me when i first work there. I was like wth kak has!!!! Hahahahhahahahahhaha so itulah ceritanya. Typing this in surau actually and not my break time yet and 15 minutes has passed. I need to go now! Anyeong!

dream maker

so hello!

i've known as a girl who have such unique dreams and i always told them to my friends or even wrote them somewhere because it's so epic! so here are some of my dreams that were written somwhere in my media. lulz.

this is the current one! i wrote them directly after waking up from sleep.

'Today's dream is another dream that can be reproduce to make a blockbuster movie woohoo 🙌 so it was like an amazing race i was  first a staff of the game not a participant but somehow when the game start, i found myself running as well! Tue game was fun! In every corner or space you need to find a clue card. It usually contains on what to do next or where tp go next, i cant remember who exactly in the dream with me. But i know for sure there was angah! He was like the top two and im the top five! Yay 😊 lulz 😂 i cant make it interesting here but honestly the challenge on the card and the need of being such creative in solving riddle in the card amazed me. And how come my brain could come out with such dream. Maybe because kak ina asked me what viper challenge is.  There was another dream where i was a victim of harassment from my teacher and the whole school friend were protecting me. But the school teacher was really really really psycho! I think i told the dream to fa so let me check in previous text in ws!  '

next are the one i wrote directly to fa because i was too excited for this blockbuster dreams hahahahha! (sorry it is in form of screencapture instead)

story 1

#story 2 this happens just like 5 days (13/8/2017) after the previous dream hahahha i produce interesting dreams everyday y all!

jangan cakap hakak tak payungggg hahahhahahahha

and i think this was my first time writing my dream and shared it publicly :'D

and it was like 8 years ago hahahahhahahaha

aku sgt trjkut ngn mmpi ni..smpy bgn tdo trus cpai lptop..ni cte bnar beb!

aku x tau pulak ade mrsm jahat kt malaysia ni..tp tu la yg mncul kt mmpi aku.cmni..*jap recalll..ok da. 

aku dpt twaran kuar dr tgb*wa stu brta baik! aku dpt antara mrsm gmencheh ato mrsm jahat uh *x tau ape nme dia.mamai!. tp ntara tgb ngn mrsm jahat uh mrsm jahat uh lg dkat ngn umah aku..mse cuti aku dok lupe psal mrsm jahat uh.aku cme pk aku dpt stay tgb je..aku dh jnji mcm2 ngn kwan aku kt tgb..yg aku ingt, akma aku jnji nk belasah ko * huh nth pape. anis, aku jnji nk peluk ko!. faa, kite jnji nk dpt 4.0 sme2..*yg btul2 pon msuk an?plik! ade lg yg lain da lupe.mse nk beli bju skola.ayah aku x kasi beli tdung biru,*tudung ldp. aku pelik kjap time tu. pas2 aku wt bodo je.jgn byk ckp nnti ayah x nk beli bju baru.*haha suma pelik! mse dftar ayah ngn ibu anta aku g mrsm jahat uh!mnangis2 aku x nk pegi.tp ntah aku ikut je.skola tu bruk sgat.bdak2 kt stu nmpak sgt kjahtan diorg.tkut gler.lagi stu yg lg tkut.aku dpt stu bilik ngn laki.!!gile ar an.bilik dia sgt kecik dn buruk.tp ade aircond!*huh mimpi2..mse nk msuk ade dorg laki tgh baring kt ktil tu.so mse diorg nmpk aku msuk , diorg pon kuar sbb fmily aku rmai.*mse tu sme mkcik pakcik spupu spapat sume ikut.haish lg pelik! aku dok tepi tingkap.mcm biasa. *dr sharodz smpy ke tgb aku mmg dok tepi tngkap. mse g pjabat dia aku rse cm nk mnangis lagi.tp bile aku nmpk stu kelibat.yg muka dia sbijik cm aina ahad!trus aku brubah ceria.aku tny dia 'aina wt pe kt sni?aina nk msuk sni ke?'. dgn bgge dn riaknye aina jawab 'haah nk daftar la ni'.aku dgn kuat dan lantangnya smpy stu pjabat dgr kta kt aina 'jgn aina nnt ko mnyesal!'..pas2 jln lagi nmpk sorg badar tgb laki.x ingt nme dia spe.*ala yg kurus2 tu..aku rse mse tu. ish dak tgb ni dah gile agaknya.mse sbuh,kitorg kne kjut gne siren n aku tdo pkai tdung!pg2 tu kne g padang amek air smayang.peliknya!!mse turn aku.aku trsungkur.n ade la sorg ni.dia gtau aku klau nk kwn ngn bdak baik2 kt sni ade bdak tu nme dia ..ntah x ingt...tp dia baik la..ok pas2 g breakfast.mkn sdap gak ar.smpy knyg la aku mkn yg pasti.ok mse nk msuk klas aku.jap klas aku 289.*ni yg pling aku plik!puas kliling skola crik x jmpe.n akhirnya jmpe gak.dlm klas tu sume pkai bju lain2 kaler.ade yg pkai skirt, bju tdo pon ade!*a'in!mimpi apakah? pas2 bile nk msuk cgu dia sndri x tau tu klas ape.ish!time msuk klas lpas da confirm, aku nk dok dpan.tp ttba tcpak kt blkg.scond last.dok sblh bdak yg bwk mainan colourful.*meriah! pas2 bdak gile glamour dpan aku pusing blakang dia kte "dsbbkan bday ko sme ngn bday justin bieber!*huh! dia hadiahkan aku stu bju.

pas2!pup!mimpi ilang kne bngn subuh!ya Allah aku x tau la ape mksud mmpi tu.tp aku gle trkjut..mmg sgt mrepek.tp nk cte gak ngn korg.sbb nnt lme2 aku lupe.nk kte aku x smayang isya" sblom tdo dh smyang.ish plik..korg jgn gelak ey bce cte mmpi pelik aku ni..aku ngis bjuta kali au dlm mmpi ni sbb korg.aku ngis sbb asal aku x dpt stay ngn dak tgb.or asal aku x g je gmnceh.ha sume nme korg aku sbut time tu.jgn main2..

and these are the comments for being such bravery for posting it publicly? hahahahahahahha

okayyy i'll update more if had any more interesting dreams hahahhaha

Post-anxiety

Just to clarify in case lupa diri suatu hari nanti, that you are such a drama queen. So do not criticize people who overreacting on certain things. You need to understand that you too have overflowing of emotions. And as much as you love theme park so do your feelings. They are exactly playing rollercoater over and over again. Just like you did in skegness. And crying and talked to people is how you handled them. You just need to blurt it out. you seems to cannot control these rollercoaster feelings. They're just come and do onar in your brain. They make you think about every worst possibilities that could happen amiing you lost trust in Most Powerful. Reminder for yourself ain, just like jahiliyyah, you can't just get rid of them without feeling the empty space with good deeds. So as well of these bad feelings or thoughts, you need to get rid of them and replace them with your strong faith towards Allah. Every tests that Allah put you through just to mak e you upgrade yourself to another level of life. Never expect things to get easier over time, never! It will only getting tougher and tougher, and so is yourslef. You just need to do the same thing. You need to be stronger and stronger. Ain you are capable of doing things that beyond your imagination! You are strong than you imagine you are! Please stop comparing yourself ain! Don't mind what people think, what matter most is what are you in Allah's view. Get your purpose of life straight! Do everything because of Allah! Okay? Okay!

Dilemma: Nak balik malaysia ke nak sambung pre reg kat sini 🙁

Current situation: Nak balik Malaysia and kalau boleh nak jadi budak forever. Tak nak kerja tapi dah penat belajar. Ya Allah kenapalah lesu sangat semangat juang dalam diri ni ya Allah. 🙁